Second Sight

It's abundantly clear you have great happiness. Would I have made you as happy? Could I? We can never know, much as we might like to think so.

I can fall on convention and say, as I did, that you've got the life you have now, that you so love now, because of all the things - including me - that have gone before. Whether it's absolutely true, that too, we can never know for sure.

What we know for sure is you did deserve better than what I did. And what I've learned...slowly and painfully...is that I deserve to have happiness too. But I've also learned that as much as we "create" our own lives, I can't just snap my fingers and tell the wizard to conjure me up a soulmate. Would that I could.

Until I stumble over him on the road to wherever it is I'm going, I'll be grateful for the love of friends, the joys of family, and the hope of having time enough to be forgiven and get it right someday.