Got an email about 30 days before the old blog site was going away forever. No problem...30 whole days to go to said site and transfer my precious writings to the new site. Didn't have a new site yet, but 30 days? Plenty of time.
Day 31: OMG! My writing! Nothing but 404 errors. Gone forever. Diminished but determined, I sign up for a new site, all the while thinking "Yeah, and how long's THIS one gonna last?" Yeah, my glass was half-empty.
Started over right about the time I elected (and like all elections, I have to question the vote count on this one) to get all my remaining teeth pulled (they didn't wanna go, believe me - battered, broken, but still gripping their pincer-like roots into the jawbone and defying any dentist of less than super-human strength to pry them out) and get dentures. Put this one off for more than 20 years...probably could have held out another 20 had I only known, at which point, surely, those roots would have weakened. But maybe not....maybe they'd have established an even stronger bond - or maybe I'd have said to my self "put this one off for 40 years...may as well just keep 'em" and gone back to attacking my porridge.
What's done is done, though, despite the few lonely bone shards who, still unable to believe their trusty pincer-root friends are gone, are breaking away from the farm and seeking the surface. What a disappointment they'll face when they finally break through. In the meantime, I commiserate with them...I miss those battered old teeth too. Oh sure, the new ones are pretty (and whole!), and I'm sure someday they'll do just as fine a job as the old ones did. So I can enjoy my retirement (both days of it, somewhere just past my 80th birthday no doubt) when it comes. Gee, without the chompers in, I can already envision just what 80's gonna look like - further note to self: do not ever let another human see this, people's hearts (and ability to refrain from tasteless insensitive jokes that are NOT funny) just aren't that strong.
So my old writing is gone. Surely I kept a backup, I think. Surely not. :( Don't look down your nose at me just yet...I backed up every single thing I ever did on that computer - the writing was done on someone else's site, and you'd think they'd have the common decency to just email that backup to me when they wiped it out, wouldn't you? Well wouldn't you?)
So it's Christmas morning, raining like the dickens (I love accidental puns), and I feel like writing - only to find all I can think of is my old blogs, now gone forever...so I think I'll wait for something inspiring, glue my teeth in, and listen to a little Ballerina by the incomparable Van Morrison. It's 26 miles and just as many days to Catalina, time enough to find the muse, finish my work (now there's a dream), and ponder the question so many of us face: how on God's green earth am I going to "date" anyone with these dentures! I mean really...at SOME point, the lucky man will see me without my teeth in, some point unimaginable for now.
This is what I do with my holidays, ponder, scribble, ponder s'more. Ah well, time to think about getting dressed for holiday dinner with the boss's family.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Here's To You!
Here's to the shrieking unpleasant dentist in Kansas City who, 7 or 8 years ago, told me if I had dentures I would never eat another bite of solid food. I scoffed then, knowing many people who had dentures and ate better food than I, with my fragile broken teeth, could eat. The one who replied to my questions about the cost of the all the work she wanted to do with "what's the annual cap on your dental insurance?" And who, when I asked, okay if I do all this work you've mapped out, when does it end and how long will it last, answered: it will never end, by the time we get through the plan, we'll have to start it all again.
Well here I am now, and guess what? I chew. I eat chips, salad, Dodger dogs, ice cream (Yay! no more root pain from ice cream!), in short, whatever I feel like eating. I don't have to worry that what I eat will break off my remaining teeth (bacon was the usual culprit, and I don't even eat it crispy). It's only been a few weeks and I feel like a million bucks...could be because I'm not worrying about that annual cap on dental insurance or the accompanying 50% out-of-pocket.You said I'd be gumming food for the rest of my life and unable to speak - but you were wrong, and you weren't very nice while you were at it, so here's to you!
Here's to the colleagues who, despite the position and responsibility I earned with those 80+ hour weeks, with commitment and competence, still assumed someone with my teeth couldn't be credible. Who didn't have a qualm mocking my teeth in their hallway and office chats, and couldn't summon the barest minimum of professional respect to at least be discreet about it. Who assumed that teeth like I had made me fair game, who judged solely on appearance, and one small part of appearance at that. Not a big surprise there, considered the statistically high number of breast augmentations, Botox, false nails, dyed hair, and "won't go out without it" makeup. Temecula is known for this, I realize...and I have no qualms with any of those appearance-enhancing things - but I do take objection with judging by appearance. My teeth didn't do the work; my teeth didn't get the experience and education; my teeth didn't make the decisions. And if my teeth had 1/10th the commitment and motivation I have, they'd still be healthy and beautiful now, right?
Well here I am now, and guess what? My new "healthy and beautiful" teeth cost less than any of those other appearance-enhancing surgeries, will last longer than dying my hair or getting acrylic nails again, and make a far bigger difference than makeup ever did. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a boob job someday, maybe not. But either way, I look past those things when I deal with you in the office...I don't judge your professional competence - or your right to professional respect - by your appearance. And it's funny to see now that you judged me by precisely that...the change is not only amazing, but sadly funny. And I'll bet you don't even realize it yourself.
Am I more credible now? No, just more pleasant to look at while I deliver my findings.Do I have more authority now? No, but it's easier to take - and studies support this - when you find the person carrying the authority more pleasant to look at.All that's changed for me are the teeth, but everything has changed with you guys, and while I commend you for it, it's also ironic.
And to my bosses, who still treat me like "family", but less like a 49-yr-old-50-any-day-now kid you can take for granted and more like the professional you hired despite her jagged teeth: it's subtle, it always has been, but you do take me a tad more seriously now. I'm not just the hard worker who's also a fun friend, but who you assume isn't dating because of her appearance. Well gee, I wasn't dating because 1) I don't date at the office anyway, and 2) in my 49 years, some with great teeth, many without, the teeth never really stopped me from dating anyway. Because I don't date at the office, and I work every waking moment for you guys, when was I supposed to go looking? LOLOLOLOL. Think I'm gonna work a few less hours this next year! You folks are great - always have been - but I do appreciate the subtle increase in credibility, it's gone a long, long way with the rest of the managers.
Here's to everyone who felt no qualms making assumptions, who used (consciously or subconsciously) "well look at her teeth" as a justification and often didn't care if I heard it or knew about it.
Well here I am now, and guess what? It's still me...same old me...and I'm glad I have lovely teeth, glad I made the change. But I'm also glad I don't have to change who I am, that I still use the "golden rule" in deciding what to say and do, that I'm still straight-shooting and down-to-earth, that I still have the same wacky sense of humor and fun-loving personality, that I'm still just ME and don't try to be someone else just because I have a beautiful new smile.I still care for you all as I did before (don't think too often about the shrieking dentist from KC, though!)...and I'm still the same person I was before. Don't feel bad because I have to wear dentures: compared to the alternative, I'm thrilled. I'm slightly surprised at the change in perception, but it's not unwelcome...here's to you!
Well here I am now, and guess what? I chew. I eat chips, salad, Dodger dogs, ice cream (Yay! no more root pain from ice cream!), in short, whatever I feel like eating. I don't have to worry that what I eat will break off my remaining teeth (bacon was the usual culprit, and I don't even eat it crispy). It's only been a few weeks and I feel like a million bucks...could be because I'm not worrying about that annual cap on dental insurance or the accompanying 50% out-of-pocket.You said I'd be gumming food for the rest of my life and unable to speak - but you were wrong, and you weren't very nice while you were at it, so here's to you!
Here's to the colleagues who, despite the position and responsibility I earned with those 80+ hour weeks, with commitment and competence, still assumed someone with my teeth couldn't be credible. Who didn't have a qualm mocking my teeth in their hallway and office chats, and couldn't summon the barest minimum of professional respect to at least be discreet about it. Who assumed that teeth like I had made me fair game, who judged solely on appearance, and one small part of appearance at that. Not a big surprise there, considered the statistically high number of breast augmentations, Botox, false nails, dyed hair, and "won't go out without it" makeup. Temecula is known for this, I realize...and I have no qualms with any of those appearance-enhancing things - but I do take objection with judging by appearance. My teeth didn't do the work; my teeth didn't get the experience and education; my teeth didn't make the decisions. And if my teeth had 1/10th the commitment and motivation I have, they'd still be healthy and beautiful now, right?
Well here I am now, and guess what? My new "healthy and beautiful" teeth cost less than any of those other appearance-enhancing surgeries, will last longer than dying my hair or getting acrylic nails again, and make a far bigger difference than makeup ever did. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a boob job someday, maybe not. But either way, I look past those things when I deal with you in the office...I don't judge your professional competence - or your right to professional respect - by your appearance. And it's funny to see now that you judged me by precisely that...the change is not only amazing, but sadly funny. And I'll bet you don't even realize it yourself.
Am I more credible now? No, just more pleasant to look at while I deliver my findings.Do I have more authority now? No, but it's easier to take - and studies support this - when you find the person carrying the authority more pleasant to look at.All that's changed for me are the teeth, but everything has changed with you guys, and while I commend you for it, it's also ironic.
And to my bosses, who still treat me like "family", but less like a 49-yr-old-50-any-day-now kid you can take for granted and more like the professional you hired despite her jagged teeth: it's subtle, it always has been, but you do take me a tad more seriously now. I'm not just the hard worker who's also a fun friend, but who you assume isn't dating because of her appearance. Well gee, I wasn't dating because 1) I don't date at the office anyway, and 2) in my 49 years, some with great teeth, many without, the teeth never really stopped me from dating anyway. Because I don't date at the office, and I work every waking moment for you guys, when was I supposed to go looking? LOLOLOLOL. Think I'm gonna work a few less hours this next year! You folks are great - always have been - but I do appreciate the subtle increase in credibility, it's gone a long, long way with the rest of the managers.
Here's to everyone who felt no qualms making assumptions, who used (consciously or subconsciously) "well look at her teeth" as a justification and often didn't care if I heard it or knew about it.
Well here I am now, and guess what? It's still me...same old me...and I'm glad I have lovely teeth, glad I made the change. But I'm also glad I don't have to change who I am, that I still use the "golden rule" in deciding what to say and do, that I'm still straight-shooting and down-to-earth, that I still have the same wacky sense of humor and fun-loving personality, that I'm still just ME and don't try to be someone else just because I have a beautiful new smile.I still care for you all as I did before (don't think too often about the shrieking dentist from KC, though!)...and I'm still the same person I was before. Don't feel bad because I have to wear dentures: compared to the alternative, I'm thrilled. I'm slightly surprised at the change in perception, but it's not unwelcome...here's to you!
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