Here's To You!

Here's to the shrieking unpleasant dentist in Kansas City who, 7 or 8 years ago, told me if I had dentures I would never eat another bite of solid food. I scoffed then, knowing many people who had dentures and ate better food than I, with my fragile broken teeth, could eat. The one who replied to my questions about the cost of the all the work she wanted to do with "what's the annual cap on your dental insurance?" And who, when I asked, okay if I do all this work you've mapped out, when does it end and how long will it last, answered: it will never end, by the time we get through the plan, we'll have to start it all again.

Well here I am now, and guess what? I chew. I eat chips, salad, Dodger dogs, ice cream (Yay! no more root pain from ice cream!), in short, whatever I feel like eating. I don't have to worry that what I eat will break off my remaining teeth (bacon was the usual culprit, and I don't even eat it crispy). It's only been a few weeks and I feel like a million bucks...could be because I'm not worrying about that annual cap on dental insurance or the accompanying 50% out-of-pocket.You said I'd be gumming food for the rest of my life and unable to speak - but you were wrong, and you weren't very nice while you were at it, so here's to you!

Here's to the colleagues who, despite the position and responsibility I earned with those 80+ hour weeks, with commitment and competence, still assumed someone with my teeth couldn't be credible. Who didn't have a qualm mocking my teeth in their hallway and office chats, and couldn't summon the barest minimum of professional respect to at least be discreet about it. Who assumed that teeth like I had made me fair game, who judged solely on appearance, and one small part of appearance at that. Not a big surprise there, considered the statistically high number of breast augmentations, Botox, false nails, dyed hair, and "won't go out without it" makeup. Temecula is known for this, I realize...and I have no qualms with any of those appearance-enhancing things - but I do take objection with judging by appearance. My teeth didn't do the work; my teeth didn't get the experience and education; my teeth didn't make the decisions. And if my teeth had 1/10th the commitment and motivation I have, they'd still be healthy and beautiful now, right?

Well here I am now, and guess what? My new "healthy and beautiful" teeth cost less than any of those other appearance-enhancing surgeries, will last longer than dying my hair or getting acrylic nails again, and make a far bigger difference than makeup ever did. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a boob job someday, maybe not. But either way, I look past those things when I deal with you in the office...I don't judge your professional competence - or your right to professional respect - by your appearance. And it's funny to see now that you judged me by precisely that...the change is not only amazing, but sadly funny. And I'll bet you don't even realize it yourself.

Am I more credible now? No, just more pleasant to look at while I deliver my findings.Do I have more authority now? No, but it's easier to take - and studies support this - when you find the person carrying the authority more pleasant to look at.All that's changed for me are the teeth, but everything has changed with you guys, and while I commend you for it, it's also ironic.

And to my bosses, who still treat me like "family", but less like a 49-yr-old-50-any-day-now kid you can take for granted and more like the professional you hired despite her jagged teeth: it's subtle, it always has been, but you do take me a tad more seriously now. I'm not just the hard worker who's also a fun friend, but who you assume isn't dating because of her appearance. Well gee, I wasn't dating because 1) I don't date at the office anyway, and 2) in my 49 years, some with great teeth, many without, the teeth never really stopped me from dating anyway. Because I don't date at the office, and I work every waking moment for you guys, when was I supposed to go looking? LOLOLOLOL. Think I'm gonna work a few less hours this next year! You folks are great - always have been - but I do appreciate the subtle increase in credibility, it's gone a long, long way with the rest of the managers.

Here's to everyone who felt no qualms making assumptions, who used (consciously or subconsciously) "well look at her teeth" as a justification and often didn't care if I heard it or knew about it.

Well here I am now, and guess what? It's still me...same old me...and I'm glad I have lovely teeth, glad I made the change. But I'm also glad I don't have to change who I am, that I still use the "golden rule" in deciding what to say and do, that I'm still straight-shooting and down-to-earth, that I still have the same wacky sense of humor and fun-loving personality, that I'm still just ME and don't try to be someone else just because I have a beautiful new smile.I still care for you all as I did before (don't think too often about the shrieking dentist from KC, though!)...and I'm still the same person I was before. Don't feel bad because I have to wear dentures: compared to the alternative, I'm thrilled. I'm slightly surprised at the change in perception, but it's not unwelcome...here's to you!